Recycled Film
Yesterday's home movies are becoming today's collectible treasures. I am referring to a proliferation of Super-8, Standard 8mm, and 16mm home movies that are being sold in catalogues from dealers, and also over the internet by on-line auction houses such as Ebay. These home movies range in value, depending on the vintage and if there are easily recognizable objects such as toys, cars, fashions etc. to date them. Being one who can easily succumb to the aura of nostalgia, I purchased seven 100' reels of silent Super-8 home movies, photographed in the 1970s and 1980s, from a merchant called ESO-S Pictures located in Kansas City, Missouri. Years ago ESO-S sold their own brands of Standard 8mm and Super-8 film stock and ready made titles, but now sells a dwindling list of supplies such as film leader and cement. I purchased approximately 25 minutes of home movies for $28. When one purchases these films, it is strictly a grab bag, as each 100' reel could contain almost anything, but I was fortunate in that all were properly exposed, fairly steady hand-held shots using Kodachrome, and in focus. The footage appeared to be made by two different amateurs. Two of the 100' reels were filmed during the early 1970s at a National Craftsman show, while the other five reels were made in 1987 and included shots of a parade, a local festival, scenes around a boat dock, and an old steam locomotive that was being run for tourists. One interesting thing about the second photographer was his penchant for filming the ladies in their short shorts or bikinis. Many times the camera literally zoomed in on their midsections as they passed by. A thought occurred to me. Could I take this footage -- edit it into something resembling a story -- and create my own movie by simply adding narration and sound effects? The gauntlet had been thrown. I accepted my own challenge and immediately began to work on the idea of making my recycled "home movie" movie a murder mystery comedy, called Murder By Day, with narration along the lines of a Pete Smith Specialty and the absurdity of a Joe McDoakes short.
One of the reels contained a few indoor shots of an old man threading a reel to reel tape recorder. This became the starting point for the film. The first establishing shot is a shot of the outside of my house (a leftover from my own home movies) and from there we see the old man inside the house with his tape recorder. As he threads the machine, his dubbed-in squeaky voice proclaims that there is to be a murder later today. The clues are on the tape. The tape begins to play and a voice emanates, which becomes the narration for the rest of the film. Cut to a small town parade, and the narrator speaks. "The voice you hear is coming from a tape recording. The events that are to follow are also recorded -- in the journals of the future. My trusty cameraman, Joe, will be the eyes for you, the audience, as I will be your ears." As pictures of the parade are shown, the narration continues. "There will be a murder today, unless we can stop it. It will take place out in the open, in broad daylight, among many people. But not here -- our first clue is to be found on the other side of town, at the carnival, as Joe will show you." "Joe…. Joe?" Joe, the cameraman, isn't listening as he has gotten side-tracked by showing us some female aerobic dancers from the parade, and the narrator has to call him several times at increasing decibels to finally get his attention. From here we take a "fast car" to the other side of town. The fast car is a shot of a 1920s something Maxwell, taken from the parade footage. Transportation problems from one scene to the next become a running gag in the film. Cut to the carnival. The narration tapers off in the search for clues as Joe is once again side-tracked with shots of attractive girls, close-ups of ladies' derrieres, chests, and tummies to Dean Martin's rendition of Standing on the Corner (watching all the girls go by). The narration drifts back in saying the murder weapon can be found outside of town on a boat down by the docks. If the weapon can be located, we might be able to find the would-be killer before the murder takes place. "Joe… Joe?" "JOE!" Cameraman Joe has to be called and called until jolted from his fixations on the ladies and we take a fast train (the slow moving old steam locomotive) to the dockyards. At the docks, the narrator's voice tapers off and Joe is completely distracted as we see shots of bikini clad girls on the boats. The music Standing on the Corner drifts in again, drumming out the narration right after the narrator says, "This could be a dangerous weapon, Joe," while Joe is mesmerized by a girl disrobing to reveal her bikini. Finally the clues (off camera) lead to a craft show in another town. "Joe… Joe?" "JOE!!!" Joe is awoken from his hypnotic state in the middle of a long shot of an extremely scanty bikini clinging to a slim young woman walking by the boats. We then take another fast train (a Pepsi-Cola string of trolley cars) to the craft show. At the craft show we are informed that this is the scene of the crime, where the actual murder will take place. We see a few close-ups of people at the show, in their craft stalls, as the narrator makes references to these people as suspects in the board game Clue. "Joe, could the murderer be Professor Plum here -- perhaps using a lead pipe? And what about Mrs. White -- she seems awful handy with a knife? Or Colonel Mustard and his ingenious rope trick? Mrs. Peacock -- harmless old lady or a murderess with a candlestick?"
The final shot, and the only shot besides the credits that isn't from a home movie, is a close-up of a man from the waist up to the top of his chest. The man's arm raises and points a gun directly at the camera. The narrator says, "No, Joe, this is the murder weapon right here -- this revolver. But who is the murderer, and the intended victim?" "The murderer is the audience, Joe, and the victim is you!" "Because of your complete incompetence as a cameraman!" Three shots are fired and the screen goes blank, with the voice of the narrator continuing with "And Good Riddance!" With this the film ends.
Now it will be up to an audience to decide if Murder By Day succeeds at its goal as an entertaining, quickly paced seven and a half-minute comedy. If not, I do hope that the real audience doesn't give me the same fate as poor old Joe received.
--- Chris Cottrill
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